I wish people would understand…

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I find that people often don’t understand how anxiety and depression as these really are hidden diseases. Although, depression is starting to get some attention and understanding thanks to media profiles, anxiety still has to yet get a look in. Anxiety still has the stigma of “pull yourself together and get over it”; easier said than done.

Here is a poem of my experience of both anxiety and depression. I know it’s there but never quite when or what will trigger it. When it’s very bad and very uncontrollable I am basically living in fear 24/7.

I have also been teaching myself polish. As a bit of an exercise, I decided to try translating it into Polish, with a little help from a dictionary and google. It’s a little off but the general gist is still there.

 

Monsters that haunt

There is this thing I live with,

It haunts me every day,

It hides within the shadows,

Playing with me; it’s prey.

 

I never know when it will strike,

Or even if it’s there.

It keeps me on edge at night,

To remain watchful and beware.

 

The people I love don’t understand,

They tell me to better cope.

There is no way they can know,

How these demons strip my hope.

 

Eventually, I am left all alone,

Believing it’s all my fault.

But how can it be?

When I’ve been stripped back so completely.

_________________________________________

Potwory że straszyć

 

Tam jest coś mieszkam z,

To nawiedza mi codziennie,

To kryje w cienie,

To bawi się mi; to ofiara.

 

Nic nie wiem kiedy będzie to bije,

Czy jeszcze czy to jest tam.

To robić mi martwić się w nocy,

Leżę obserwowa i strzec się.

 

Ludzie kocham oni nie rozumieją,

Oni mi powiedzieć poradzić sobie dobrze.

Tam jest nie ma mowy oni mogą wie,

Jak te demony rozebrać się mój nadzieja.

 

Już, mam wszystko sama,

Sądzę to jest wszystko mój błąd.

Ale, jak to może być?

Gdy byłem pozbawiony tak całkowicie.

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